


Twin Handbaskets

by Bloodsbane



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Pale-Red Vacilliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-23
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 07:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/771847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bloodsbane/pseuds/Bloodsbane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Equius Zahhak had never imagined a picnic could be so stressful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twin Handbaskets

**Author's Note:**

> Done to fulfill a request on tumblr. User asked for a fic where Equius felt flushed for Nepeta and confessed his feelings on a date.

Equius Zahhak had never imagined a picnic could be so stressful.

He supposed it was his own fault, roping himself into a situation like this. How could he have been so foolish - and so weak? He was a STRONG troll of respectable blue blood with a record for being direct and never fearing any trivial challenge, yet he was incapable of asking a simple question? To his moirail no less! It was deplorable and he was embarrassed over it.

But unlike most things, this wouldn’t be easy. Equius was never one with words. What he had with Nepeta, it wasn’t like one of his robots - he couldn’t simply repair it if he destroyed it. He had to chose his words very carefully.

He’d practiced doing so only two days before, when he’d asked Nepeta to participate in such an unusual outing. They did not usually to on expeditions together - it was much more common for Nepeta to travel to Equius’ hive on her own and stay for a few days, then return home. Equius wanted this to be special, though, and so he wanted to do it somewhere new, outdoors because Nepeta felt most comfortable outside.

They’d been on Trollian when he presented the idea of a picnic. That was also unusual - Equius suggesting something like that. Part of him hoped Nepeta wouldn’t notice, but it was important that she understand the implications for herself. Equius had known there would be no way for him to phrase his request in the fashion he desired; ‘date’ did not once appear in that chatlog, in blue or olive hue. He was too hesitant to be so direct, but he hoped she understood that this was to be a little more than just a friendly lunch between moirails.

Nepeta had been excited by the idea in any case, and readily accepted. In an effort to make it less of a burden to her, Equius offered that they both make a small lunch to share, then bring their separate baskets to a small clearing about halfway between their hives. It was a place they’d visited before - only once, but it had stuck in Equius’ memory for being very open and private, free of any wayward trolls or beasts. Nepeta liked the plan and proceeded to go on about what she would be bringing, what she might wear, how she’d get there, and Equius let her talk as he smiled to himself and worried.

He was afraid to tell her. Those two days leading up to the outing, he kept fretting: was this the right thing to do? He felt ashamed for worrying over something so silly, but also guilty - guilty for having such feelings in the first place. Flushed feelings between moirails were extremely rare, as far as Equius knew, and from the books he’d read such vacillations had almost always been disastrous for any party involved.

At first he wanted to blame it on his more… deplorable, lewd tendencies. He was older now, no longer a child - he’d grown to better understand and even accept his less-than-decent sexual urges. At first, he’d hoped that his attraction towards Nepeta was simply a misdirection, a sign that he needed a stronger outlet for his loneliness. Judging from the sense of self-disgust and guilt he’d felt at the time, Equius had believed that was all there was to it - just a little crush due to lack of any other close company.

But the feeling never went away. In fact, every time Nepeta would come over things seemed to get worse. Her touches began to send shivers up his spine; her friendly kisses no longer soothed him, but made him flustered, warmed him where the pale feelings had never been able to seep through. Equius couldn’t help but notice her figure - small breasts and strong thighs, a curve at the hip that led him to need a towel often now. The way her hair curled about her ears, how she rolled her r’s, how she’d stretch herself shamelessly across every surface and nap without fear while she was with him.

He’d known it was bad, though, when every mention of Karkat started making him want to crush something. Equius Zahhak, a noble blueblood, was starting to get jealous of Karkat.

He kept it to himself for a long while, but Equius knew he’d never survive without either getting over the feelings or telling Nepeta about them. He disliked both options, but knew he had no choice. The feelings weren’t going away, so, it was time to man up and confront her about them.

Now, as Equius made his way through foliage unfamiliar, he was already having second thoughts. Perhaps he could manage playing everything off as nothing more than a paledate, like the ones they used to have as kids? 

The grass here was dotted lightly with flowers, soft in their hue. A few rocks lay here and there, offering a place to sit. The trees that surrounded this clearing were thin but many, casting light shadows that criss-crossed, throwing a quilt of grey and green and black across the ground beyond. Above, the sky was a soft, deep grey - there was a soothing night breeze, and the foliage around him whispered under it’s caress. 

There would be no pretending - this was totally a date. 

Equius gulped and quickly produced a towel, one of many he’d stashed in his pockets. He’d opted for a change in dress, forgoing his usual stockings and shorts. He settled instead on a different pair of shorts, darker gray and a bit longer, to the knee, with more pockets. Equius had also decided not to wear his glasses, keeping them stashed in one of his pockets.

He rubbed his face free of sweat and took a deep breath, then did something he’d become very good at - he sat, was still, closed his eyes, and waited. 

He waited for a while. Equius knew it would be a long walk for her, but he was surprised that Nepeta hadn’t arrived yet. About twenty minutes passed before he opened his eyes, curious, wondering if something happened. 

But there she was, perched atop one of the higher rock faces. Equius blinked in surprise when he spotted her, and not just because he hadn’t heard her approaching. He felt a blush rise on his cheeks. “Nepeta, your clothes are diferent.”

Nepeta giggled, helping Equius to break the silence. The olive-blooded troll kicked her feet from under her, then slid down the rock, landing lightly on her feet. She skipped over to Equius. Placing her bundle onto the ground - it looked as if she’d wrapped something up in her usual coat - she stood up straight and did a little twirl. “Do you like it Equius? I asked Kanaya to make it fur me! Didn’t she do a wonderfur job?”

Equius could only nod, mesmerized. Like he, Nepeta did not often wear different clothing. For a while he’d thought she’d only had one outfit, back when they’d first started seeing each other. Now she was wearing something very different from her usual dress and it took him a moment to steady himself. 

It was a lovely outfit - feminine, yet fitting for Nepeta. She wore a pair of overalls, an attractive blue color, with shorts that stopped mid-thigh. Her undershirt contrasted the solidarity of her denim pants, being long-sleeved and draping, with delicate wrists and very faint watermarks of what Equius thought were tiny cats. She’d kept her paw-shoes, he figured, since the color matched her tail, which poked from a hole in the back of her shorts. She looked very cute. 

“Miss Maryam made this for you in only two days?”

“Yup! Isn’t that supurr? I didn’t know if she could but she said not to worry, and I visited her yesterday to pick it up and isn’t it just the cutest? It even has little cats in the shirt!” 

“It… looks very nice. It suits you.” 

Her legs were so bare, he’d never really seen her legs before. _Fiddlesticks_. 

Nepeta didn’t notice him grab for another towel - she smiled, kneeling down to unwrap her bundle; she pulled free a small basket. Nepeta spread out her coat on the grass and then a blanket, sitting on her coat as she started removing the food. 

Equius joined her and together they set up their picnic - to Equius’ surprise, in relative silence. Other than a few snippets of small talk, they didn’t say much as they got lunch ready. Equius frowned, eyebrow creasing, wondering why Nepeta was being so silent. 

Once they were settled things seemed to relax, and they began talking more easily. Equius on his knees, feet tucked beneath him, and Nepeta sitting with her legs criss-crossed. There was tea and milk passed between them, with Nepeta helping Equius to take ships from the delicate cups. Nepeta had brought some meat for herself, leaving Equius to enjoy the salad Authour had prepared for him. They ate and talked and laughed, chatting about their friends, enjoying each other’s company, the open-privacy of the serene clearing. 

It was nice. So nice that Equius dreaded it’s conclusion even more. Maybe he should wait. Why ruin such a nice day with a confession? He couldn’t bear the idea of rejection, not from Nepeta, but rejection was the only outcome he could envision. When most of the food was gone and things were winding down, Equius grew ever more nervous, and he was going through towels at a ridiculous rate. 

“Equius, are you alright?” Nepeta asked, pulling a small cup of Cameowmile tea away and setting it down. Her eyes, bright and yellow and curious caught Equius in their gaze. The blueblood froze, sighed, rubbed his neck with a hand. If he were a weaker troll he’d tilt his head, use his hair to shield him from her knowing gaze. Instead he faced her. 

Now was the time. He could say no, nothing was wrong, and pretend this was all just as it seemed. But he refused to back down. He was afraid, yes, of losing her. But there was the hope that she’d say yes, that rose-colored daydream he’d had of her feeling the same, of them becoming matesprits, and the image was intoxicating, worth risking their moiraillegiance for. It made Equius feel so happy, imagining she’d be flushed for him too. 

“Yes, Nepeta, I am feeling fine. I want to thank you for accepting my offer to come on this outing with me - it has been extremely pleasant, having your company.”

Nepeta grinned. “Of course! I mean, what are meowrails for? I love being with you Equius, anytime.”

His fist clenched; a bead of sweat rolled down his brow, but he ignored it, forced himself to disregard the strike of doubt. “Nepeta, I have enjoyed your company, but I must admit, I had… other motives behind this event.”

“Oh?” Nepeta tilted her head. She turned her body slightly, so she was facing Equius fully, hands seated on her lap in a way that didn’t seem familiar, seemed almost reserved. “What is it, Equius? Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing is wrong. I simply wish to inform you of something. It’s important.”

Nepeta was silent, but gave him a smile, encouraging him. She must have noticed, then, that he was nervous. Perhaps she’d understood all along that something was happening, that he needed to tell her something. What if she already knew, what if the smile was that of pity? 

“Yes, I need to tell you something,” Equius said again, slowly, to himself. Then he straightened up and stood. Nepeta looked surprised. Equius held out a hand, and pulled her up to stand with him. Gently, taking her hands between his, he spoke:

“I wish to apologize in advance if I cause any offense. But I think it is important that I get this off of my chest, and I believe you deserve to know. I’m so used to telling you all of my problems and having you help me, I have discovered it is very difficult having the problem… having it pertain to you, and being unable to conference about it.”

“I’m… the problem?” Nepeta frowned in confusion, and her eyes widened.

Equius sputtered, shaking his head, quickly replying, “No, no, not like that Nepeta! Please do not be upset. I apologize for misleading you, I just- oh goshdarn…” He was starting to sweat, and he really didn’t want to. Equius took another breath and forced himself to continue. “Nepeta listen, I just need to tell you… For a while, I have been, well, suffering - no, not suffering - I have been undergoing some emotional changes. I see that my feelings for you have started to change.”

He paused there, taking a moment to catch his breath and gauge her reaction so far. He was so warm, the sweat trickling down his forehead, his cheeks and arms felt like icebergs floating across the waters of his blue-tinted skin. He must look like a ridiculous fool, blushing so much, choking on his words - Equius couldn’t even look Nepeta in the eye anymore, he was so flustered and embarrassed. 

Nepeta said nothing, though her face was an open book, and Equius read her easily. She was confused and trying to make sense of things. She clenched his hands with her own, rubbing them, trying to think, and Equius knew she wad doing it as much for his sake as her own - it was making him more comfortable. Her fingers massaging his hand, the area between his fingers, so tense with nerves, was like salve on a wound. He breathed carefully and tried to relax. 

“Equius,” she finally said, her voice very soft. Equius didn’t want to look back at her but forced himself to. Her face was very gentle. He thought she was smiling very faintly, but probably not, probably he was only imagining it. “Equius, what are you trying to say? Don’t be shy, you big sweaty fureak. You can tell me anything, remempurr?”

“I… Yes, I know. Alright, then. Nepeta, I am… I am flushed. For you.”

Equius couldn’t help it, couldn’t bear to see what he knew was coming - he closed his eyes. It was cowardly and he hated himself for it but couldn’t help it. As Nepeta removed her hands from his, he knew what he’d see if he looked. She was backing away, speechless, surprised that and disgusted; the idea of a sweaty fetishistic freak like him having flushed feelings for her was probably appalling. Now he’d done it, ruined their moiraillegiance, ruined their friendship, she’d never want to look at him or speak to him ever again-

“Equius? Equius, calm down!”

Equius opened his eyes in surprise. He hadn’t realized he was crying. Then he saw Nepeta tearing up, and he was even more surprised. 

She smiled, teeth white against her green lips, and she pulled him close to her, his chin on her head as she nuzzled his neck. “You poor thing! That must have been so hard to say! Are you okay? Oh Equius, don’t cry!” 

Equius bit his lip, forcing himself to stop. He cleared his throat, determined to speak normally as he said, “Excuse me for my disgraceful performance, I shouldn’t be blubbering like a newborn wriggler. I just needed you to know. I apologize, again.”

Nepeta made a noise of exasperation, slapping Equius on the arm. “Don’t apologize you big dummy! You should never be sorry fur having feelings fur someone! And I think it was very noble and brave of you to tell me even when you were so afuraid.”

She pulled away enough to look at him. Her eyes were shining, her grin bordering on ludicrous in size. Equius tilted his head at her. “I do not understand. So you are not angry with me? You do not wish to end our moiraillegiance?”

“Well of course I don’t want to be meowrails anymore, silly!”

“Oh. I… see?”

Nepeta chuckled. “I’ll miss being meowrails, sure, but…” She blushed faintly, then took his hands in her own, resting her cheek against him. “We can’t be meowrails and matespurrits, can we?”

Equius pulled away, stunned. “You feel the same way? Are you being serious?”

A pause, then Nepeta nodded, smiling shyly. “Uh-huh. For a little while, actually… I was afuraid to tell you beclaws I didn’t know if you liked me back. I figured you wouldn’t want me as a matespurrit because I’m a lowblood, or beclaws you have that… thing for Aradia still.”

He was amazed. Equius shook his head, nearly speechless. Nepeta had thought he would reject her? The very idea seemed impossible, laughable, hilarious to him. “What is there not to want?” he said, really without thinking. “You are kind and smart, and pretty, and you are so strong! Stronger than most people I know, in both power and passion. You care about your friends so much and I cannot believe there is nothing to admire in terms of your selflessness. You are surely the most resourceful and clever olive blood I’ve ever met…” A pause as he thought this next part through. “And… I believe that I never did see you for your blood. At first I had to ignore it, the idea of having a moirail so low in the spectrum did upset me… But now I know it doesn’t matter. And I think you for that, too; your patience and tolerance of me. I know I was never half the moirail you were to me.”

She was blushing, green as the grass around them, cheeks blooming with her smile. “Oh my gosh, Equius, stop! You’re making me blush a lot, just stop with all those nice words right now! I’m not used to you being so sweet,” she teased. 

“I am just so happy,” Equius stated simply. “I never could have imagined you might feel the same for me. Well, I admit I did imagine it, but I never believed you might recuperate my affections.”

“Well, I dunno,” Nepeta said, shrugging. “I guess… A little while ago, I started thinking that I didn’t really have flushed feelings for Karkat.”

“Truly?”

“Yeah. I mean I didn’t really want him to be my matespurrit, I just thought he was cute and funny! I just wanted to be his friend. So I started thinking, what is being flushed for someone really about? And then I realized it was a lot like being meowrails, just different, ‘cause you want to be with that purrson all the time…” She blushed again, giggling. “And you want to cuddle them and kiss them and be close to them, a lot closer than meowrails are. And I realized that’s kind of what I want with you…”

Equius smiled. He let Nepeta down, but she stuck to him, wrapping her arms around his. Then she did something he wasn’t expecting - she reached up a hand and stood on her toes, and kissed him. 

“C’mon,” she said as she pulled away, leaving a very dazed Equius to stand dumbfounded in the middle of their picnic. “We should clean up and get back to your hive! I can’t wait to tell everypawdy the purrific news! I bet Vwhiskers will be super surpurrised - she said you would nefur find a matespurrit!” Nepeta giggled as she hopped here and there, putting things away. “You know, we should hold hands when we walk back, maybe she’ll see us from her window. That’d be so funny! I can just imagine the look on her face now!”

At first Equius just watched as the sky started getting lighter as the night rose away. They’d have to get going if they wanted to get home before late. He helped Nepeta pack up the rest of the food, slinging his own empty basket over his shoulder. Nepeta held hers to her hip, and after a hesitant smile, reached over. The fingers of her small hand entwined with his own, and the feeling was not new, but this gesture meant change. Her soft touch warmed him to his core.

Equius had never been happier.


End file.
